We’ve been seeing a steady trend towards increased public safety laws for some time now, including seat belts, motorcycle helmets, bicycle helmets and now… office helmets? State lawmakers are calling for a law that would require all employees who work in offices to wear helmets at all times to protect their heads against office accidents.
“The head is the most important part when it comes to office work,” asserted Representative Irene Camden in an interview with The Coolaid earlier this week. “Construction workers have to wear helmets all the time, and they don’t even need their heads,” she added.
Detractors, including most HR executives who see more paperwork heading their way, believe that a person’s skull is more than sufficient to protect their brains from even the most daunting office injuries, but following the credo of “better safe than sorry,” Camden says she’s pressing forward.
According to Camden and other legislators, “Wet floors that don’t have that Piso Miso sign, stale donuts, pencils falling out of the ceiling, file cabinets left open, loud noises and banana peels on the elevators are just some of the dangers facing our nation’s most valuable workers.” But there are detractors to the proposed law.
“How in the world is a helmet going to protect me from a stale donut is what I want to know,” asked Tim Radner, a local date entry professional. “The helmet can’t warn me not to eat it, and if someone throws it at my head, nothings gonna stop that donut from hitting me in the eye, or the mouth, or part of my ear. I’m better off relying on my wits, and not getting lulled into a false sense of security.”
Critics of the measure agree that helmets may actually lead to greater risk taking in the office environment, leading to unintended consequences and injuries to other parts of the body.